My Cobwebs Had Become Cotton Balls

Reading through those seemingly endless lists of symptoms attributed to Fibromyalgia was an exhausting undertaking early on. In light of that I will try very hard, for your sake and mine, to keep my posts short. And hey, if you do fall asleep while reading my blog, I promise I won’t be offended. Sleep away while you have the chance!

Chronic insomnia and the inability to stay awake during the daytime had me more than once falling asleep before getting half way down a page, whether I was reading or writing, and I had lost all ability to absorb anything I read.

I had just finished doing my writing course, which took me longer to do than most, and started working on a still unfinished novel. I remember one day in particular, typing away, staring off into space and trying to remember simple words. Words I knew I knew but could not access. Not only did I have a hard time remembering the word ‘the’, when I did remember, I had to look up how to spell it. Another time, I fell asleep on my keyboard while typing. I kid you not, my nose landed on the z button leaving behind rows and rows of z’s to delete. Part of me saw the humour, the irony, in it at the time, but most of all, I was frustrated.

My cobwebs had become cotton balls and I had no idea why or what to do about it. My love of reading and writing was waning fast. Speaking became difficult for any length of time. Halfway through a sentence I would either forget what I was talking about or I just couldn’t find the words.

I would assume the person I was talking to would think I was on drugs, or something like that, and anxiety would hit, taking away any ability I had left to think. In my next post, I’ll write about some of the things I’ve tried to live with what I now know to be brain fog…aka…Fibrofog.